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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618211">a reason to keep trying</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/redledgers/pseuds/redledgers'>redledgers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Post-Season/Series 04, Reunions, Softness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/redledgers/pseuds/redledgers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There are things she wants to ask, questions she’s desperate for answers to, but she will learn them in time, she’s sure of it.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve/Mazikeen (Lucifer TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a reason to keep trying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from plumb's "don't deserve you"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lux is <em> thriving, </em>a live wire with music pumping and bodies flowing in and out. It’s been this way even before Lucifer’s return, when she was left in charge of this kingdom of pleasure and partying. But today she is not running the show. Today, Maze sits at the bar, matching Dan shot for shot, although he’s getting close to being drunk enough that she’s confident she’ll be hauling his ass out of there soon. As they talk, her eyes wander, roving the crowd for her next bedmate, or at least someone fun to dance with.</p><p>“Hey, I wanted to ask you…” But Dan's voice fades in the background as her eyes catch sight of a woman standing at the top of the stairs.</p><p>“Sure, hold on.” Maze sets her shot glass down a little too hard and stands. She moves through the crowd as if she’s being pulled on a line around the men and women who flock here for a good time. She’s not even sure if someone took her seat at the bar, and she doesn’t care that she’s left Dan alone. He can handle himself.</p><p>When she reaches the top of the stairs, she can hardly speak.</p><p>“Hey,” Eve says. Her gaze drops for a moment before she looks back up. She looks beautiful, although she’s never been anything else, but she also looks stronger and surer. </p><p>Maze’s heart flips. </p><p>She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Can we… Can we talk?” </p><p>They do need to talk. There’s too much that’s happened and Maze feels something crawling in her chest that she doesn’t know the name of. But this is not the place to find out, not while the bass is booming and the drinks are flowing. “Come on,” Maze says after a moment, holding her hand out to a woman she honestly didn’t know if she’d see again. “You got a ride?” she says when Eve takes her hand, soft skin brushing against hands that were made for knives.</p><p>Eve shakes her head. “I took a rideshare.”</p><p>That doesn’t matter. Maze leads her down to the garage, pulls a second helmet out of the storage next to her bike. She’s reminded of the day they spent trying to stay one step ahead of Chloe and Lucifer on a case. With Eve at her back, she felt <em> different. </em> She feels it again when Eve swings her leg over the bike and slips her arms around Maze’s bare waist. </p><p>Eve directs her to a small studio apartment just outside of Hollywood. The inside is both everything and nothing like Maze would have imagined. She is surrounded by <em> Eve </em> even as the other woman steps over the threshold and toward the small kitchenette. “Do you want something to drink?” she asks while Maze catalogues the space. “I have wine, bourbon, tea, and water, if you want it.”</p><p>“Surprise me,” Maze says, making her way to the soft gray couch. Behind her, a curtain partitions off what she assumes is Eve’s bed. The rest of the apartment is lightly decorated with plants, empty alcohol bottles, and stacks of records. Any more and it would seem too cluttered. She hears the sound of an electric kettle and turns to watch Eve prepare drinks. The ease of her movements speak of familiarity, and Maze wonders how long she’s been in Los Angeles and if she ever left at all. </p><p>A few minutes later, Eve comes over, a mug of tea in one hand and a glass of bourbon in the other. “Thought you might want to start with this,” she says, setting the bourbon on Maze’s side of the coffee table and the tea on hers. She sits, tucking a leg beneath herself. Before Maze can take the glass, Eve picks it up and takes a drink. “Sorry,” she says shyly, setting it down and gathering up the mug instead.</p><p><em> You can share my drink any time, </em> Maze’s traitorous mind supplies, but instead she picks up the glass and drinks most of the liquor in one go. “You wanted to talk?” she asks when she sets it back down, feeling the warmth of a drink that doesn’t affect her much more than that spread through her body. There are things she wants to ask, questions she’s desperate for answers to, but she will learn them in time, she’s sure of it. </p><p>“I’ve been to a lot of places,” Eve starts. “Like, all over the world.” She blows on her tea and takes a sip. “I remember walking in the beginning. Adam and I tried to look anywhere at all that we might be able to find a place that felt like home. Or at least somewhere to be, for a little while. When I was on the plane to Paris, I realized I was just doing the same thing. Again.”</p><p>Maze listens, alcohol forgotten, as Eve explains the things she’s discovered, the things she’s done, the things she wanted still. The night turns to early morning as their conversation flows to Maze’s stories about Charlie and Lucifer and Trixie and the bounties she left at the precinct. Across from her, Eve curls against the back of the couch, smile soft and eyes shining. She tries to hide a yawn, but when she fails, Maze nudges her leg. “I’ll let you sleep,” she says. It’s only fair. It had to be.</p><p>Eve huffs and sits up. She stretches her leg out and rubs feeling back into it. “Stay?”</p><p>“I…” She wants to, but she shouldn’t. This thing is still tenuous and new, it’s too easy, and she doesn’t want it to end. But it’s unfamiliar and Maze has found that more often than not, she prefers the familiar.</p><p>“If you don’t want to, that’s okay,” Eve finishes hurriedly. She stands and looks at where her toes are buried in the plush rug. “Thank you for coming.”</p><p>Maze rises slowly, as if Eve would be easily startled or read her movement as an exit. She feels a smirk twist at her features as she meets Eve’s gaze. “I didn’t bring pajamas,” she says. She doesn’t wear them anyway, but that doesn’t matter. </p><p>The grin she’s rewarded with is worth it. “That’s okay.” Eve bounces on her toes, then steps around the couch to tug the curtain aside. There’s more than a bed there; a small dresser also occupies the cordoned off space and a closet door struggles to stay shut. Maze watches idly as Eve crouches before the dresser to pull clothing out of the bottom drawer. A shirt is thrown in her direction, and she lunges to catch it. </p><p>It’s soft and grey, with “Yosemite Ntl Park” emblazoned on the front. When she looks up, Eve has stripped bare, and is pulling on cloth shorts. A matching shirt waits at the edge of the bed, but Maze can’t stop staring. The warmth that blooms inside of her isn’t arousal though, no, it’s something far deeper that puts roots in her chest and spreads through her veins. </p><p>“I’m gonna brush my teeth,” Eve says, turning as she slips the shirt on and tugs it over her stomach. </p><p>“Uh… okay.” She should be embarrassed, but she’s rooted to the spot as Eve disappears into the bathroom. Maze hurriedly changes out of her clothes and has only just donned the slightly oversized shirt before she’s digging through Eve’s drawers looking for a spare pair of underwear. She barely registers a vibrator tucked between flowery lace as she pulls the first pair of cotton panties from the top drawer at the same time Eve pokes her head out of the bathroom.</p><p>“Everything okay?” she asks around the toothbrush that’s sticking out of the side of her mouth. Maze finds it so fucking adorable that it almost hurts.</p><p>“Yup.” Maze doesn’t miss the way Eve’s gaze rakes over her body before she disappears again to rinse. Maze tugs on the underwear and takes up residence in the center of the bed. She wonders if Eve prefers a certain side.</p><p>If she does, she makes no comment, instead re-emerging with a yawn. She turns off the lamp and climbs up beside Maze to wriggle beneath the patterned duvet. It, like the sheets, is a soft blue, like the sky Maze imagines hung over Eden in the beginning. She follows suit, slipping beneath the covers.</p><p>“Night,” Eve mumbles, snuggling close. She tucks herself against the lines of Maze’s body and presses her face against her shoulder.</p><p>Eve falls asleep easily, her breathing even and body warm. Maze lays awake longer, memorizing the feeling of Eve nestled against her, fingers dipped just beneath the hem of her borrowed shirt. She thinks of their journeys, searching for a home so different than the one they thought they left. And she thinks of something else, something she’ll say in the morning over coffee and cereal and the sunlight of Eve’s smile. <em> I still don’t know what love is, but I want to figure it out with you. </em></p>
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